This has bothered me for the past month and I’ve talked to no one about it. I have resorted to Tumblr…I apologize for my lack of flow.

I am not perfect. I am not glamorous. I’m no mod-la (model). Honestly, I don’t think I’m a “knockout.” I’ve no “bangin” body nor do I have a degree. I don’t have the best job in the world. Let’s face it, each day I’m exposed to possible life-threatening blood borne pathogens with no knowledge of who they’re harboured in. I don’t have a fancy shmancy car nor do I have my own house. I’m not the most confident person in the world, I get self-concious about several things. Even though I am not the biggest optimist, optimism is something I strive for.

So what am I???

I am a mother who has an amazingly flawless and strikingly handsome son. I am a working, struggling, single mother. Before Jameson, my ego was limitless. I could take on the world in one day if I wanted to. I could do it willingly without force, regardless of the circumstances. Now my life has changed with a child. I have slowed down TREMONDOUSLY, I have become humbled, I have become much more vulnerable to cruelty (especially with being single). I make sacrifices to do what’s best for my Jameson and to ensure that he’s taken care of. I do what I have to do to get where WE need to be. Though I don’t like the difficulty of it sometimes, being a single mother has got to be the hardest thing I’ve ever done. Yes, parenting is a raw deal but all of the highs and FIERCE love and protectiveness balances everything out. I am the one to give my child a port in any storm he has. I am his provider. With him, I am Atlas. I must trust myself to keep balance, even when losing it (and I have lost it a time or two).

Because I am a mother I now have power beyong measure. Childbirth alone has taught me strength and shown my ability to handle pain. But I also can love someone unconditionally. I am able to raise a happy, independent, intelligent son. and, And, AND I have the capability to follow my dreams. AND I can do all of this at once.

Motherhood is definitely a rite of passage comparable to nothing. I would not trade it for the world.

I am a soldier. Again, unlike others, I make sacrifices for my community and my country. Even though this is yet another challenging job, being a soldier has also increased my strength, mentally and physically. (Well, physically, not so much right now.) As a soldier, I have been taught to prepare for the worst and expect the best. Because I am a soldier, I am a risk taker. And, depending on where I am, that risk is unknown. All of my dedication and hard training revolves around killing the enemy, who is the outside threat that binds a combat unit together strong enought for them to make extraordinary sacrifices for each other, their families, their communities, their country. I am proud to have served the past five years and look for fifteen plus to come.

So, you see, I am no weave queen. I am no chic fashionista. I frequent not the clubs. I’ve said this before, I enjoy morning coffee, Sunday papers, childrens’ music, and soft rock. I am a strong, willful, powerful woman who, regardless of the mistakes I’ve made, takes pride in what I do. Yes, I have been shunned for the choices I’ve made and I will continue to be. But I refuse, Refuse, REFUSE to let anything get in our way of being to where I have the potential of where we need to be. We are…falling up! lol

I guess I’m really not as simple as I thought. :-)

romeisburning:

The Shit List.

Shit Black Girls Say

Shit Black Girsl Say | Pt 2

Shit White Girls Say to Black Girls

Shit Girls Say To Gays

Shit Fat Girls Say

Shit Baby Mamas Say

Shit Black Guys Say

Shit Hood Girls Say

Shit Hood Girls Say | Pt2

Shit Single Black Mothers Say 

Shit Asian Girls Say

Shit Jamaican Guys Say

Shit Single Girls Say

Shit Girls Say

Shit Black Gays Say

Shit Black Gays Say | Pt 2

Shit Saved People Say

Shit Thirsty Dudes Say

It has been a very long time since I have posted on my Tumblr…the last thing I remember was a song from 808s and Heartbreaks sometime last spring, early summer…

Soooo…Happy New Year and stuff. I am a mom now so my outlook on life has changed some. Jameson has had his first birthday and I’m in school now. This makes for one busy mommy.

I have decided to try this new thing with making goals for the week and I need somewhere to put it down. Tumblr seems to be a good spot. Just in case I lose them posted on the wall or my dry erase board. With that being said, here goes…

In school
-get all reading done by Tuesday’s end
-have discussion forums completed by Wednesday
-begin history paper
-prepare for final exams
-drop ethics class (Not me giving up. After talking with mama I believe I am putting a lot on myself.)

Parenting
-open Jimi’s 529
-check out his daycare spending account
-teach Jimi how to drink from a straw, lol
-read at least three times this week

Home
-PUT ALL THIS BLASTED LAUNDRY UP!!!
-clean out Mama’s old toy box for baby
-find and begin “Get Sorted,” I gotta get more organized…

Money/Finance
-MAKE BUDGET AGAIN!!!
-find CLIA refund checks

For me?
-see a movie, go to dinner, see a band, have a drink, hell SOMETHING I ENJOY!!!

Whoa nah!!! Look who finally broke into her blog!!! I am more than ready to start back posting all of my trivial thoughts and randomness that I can’t put on Twitter!!!

Glad to be back to Tumblr. :-)

had to go hide out from working…

le sigh…

RT @willyh86: RT @BSFAREAL HUNTINGTON GRADS!!!!! Do Y’all Remember Chicken Day In The Cafeteria!?!?!!?!?!! #Lawd RETWEET If You Feel Me! …

I could for real break out into the running man…

I am seriously thinking of going to Dr. Bridges for a consultation very very soon…

I’m way too picky with this music tonight…nothing’s fitting.

These tricks better have breakfast at this blasted meeting…

Thank you, Sweet Baby Jesus Harold! Finally! #DWTS! Bono! Bono! Bono!

lack of punctuality is a pet peeve I have bad. I fackin hate waiting…this morning ain’t going so hot.

Now she making fun of my baby socks!